coffee, coke and cigarettes: a disappearing act

So, I went on holiday over two months ago, got my first ever flat… And put on weight again :/...

Fri, 24 Aug 2012 10:47:38 +0100

So, I went on holiday over two months ago, got my first ever flat… And put on weight again :/ am 210lbs AGAIN!

I’ve just been looking through some photos from the holiday and I just look disgusting.

I could cry, really I could.

Its so pathetic that I get thrown off track whenever something happens in my life.

Came back from work today and just don’t wanna eat - I have about a weeks holiday now, but Knowing that one of the people I help to look after is probably going to pass away before I go back has put me off eating.

I seriously love the person in question to bits - I knew this was coming but it’s still fucking horrible.

I have no right to abuse my body by being fat when this person is dying.

Ugh.

People should live life to the full, and sorry, but as a fat person myself, I can assure you that you don’t live life when you’re fat - you just exist from day to day.

I have friends coming down to visit Sunday, and I just don’t think I’m going to eat until then, starting from 11 am today.

It’s 10.46 am at the mo - time for a last milky coffee…

Holiday

Thu, 31 May 2012 01:35:30 +0100

Am going on holiday in 2 days time :)

Will not have a problem sticking with fasting, since I’ll be in the company of an eating disordered friend, who makes a point of asking me why I’m eating …

Which gets annoying, since it’s not her business…

BUT, there’s no pressure on me this coming week to eat at a particular time :)

Dropped 2 more pounds! :) am now 203 lbs :D I love Intermittent Fasting - it works so well!

Sun, 13 May 2012 12:45:57 +0100

Dropped 2 more pounds! :) am now 203 lbs :D

I love Intermittent Fasting - it works so well!

ibetshefuckslikeafairyonacid: Famous last words.

Wed, 09 May 2012 12:38:49 +0100

ibetshefuckslikeafairyonacid:

Famous last words.

Finally!

Sat, 28 Apr 2012 15:43:07 +0100

I managed to lose 5 lbs!
I’m now 205 lbs, down from 210 lbs, and have broken my plateau. :D

oh fuck off!

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 13:06:02 +0100

Shit day.

Got had a go at over using a relatives fucking three-quarter full bottle of shampoo ONCE yesterday cause Id just got back from doing a 12 hour shift, and had to rush out (I had a 100 mile trip to make & my lift was waiting) & cause shift work has prevented me from getting to the shops (the ones that actually have shampoo, like the chemist) in the last week…
These people have used my shower gel before and I’ve been fine about it, and they also use my hand soap, and I’ve been fine about it!
They’ve also been to the shops 3 times in the last week, but never considered getting me a bottle of pissing shampoo with money that I could have given them!

For fucks sake!

I got so upset at how they have been treating me, that I cried!

Fucking shite!

The only plus side is that I’ve not eaten so far today - cigarettes, 1 glass of squash and that’s it…
All food has been stored for disposal in a plastic bag :) I’m not being made to eat their food on top of being nagged about every fucking thing.
Fuck that.

Please reblog this if your starting weight was over 200lbs.

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 12:14:25 +0100

anadaynow:

skinny-for-disney:

healthyalexandria:

I’m looking for some new blogs to follow that started out (or are just starting out) at a similar weight that I began at.
Thanks!

190?

SW 278. Eeeeeeeeeyep. CW

I was 239 - am STILL stuck at around 210 :/ have gone back to intermittent fasting - I can do this!!

Working shifts is making it nigh-on impossible to stick to a diet. Ugh. I haven’t really...

Sun, 08 Apr 2012 20:43:56 +0100

Working shifts is making it nigh-on impossible to stick to a diet. Ugh.

I haven’t really gained, but my success at losing weight is fucking dire.

I recently had a doctor confirm that I am suffering from pcos at the mo. She thinks it’s why I cant seem to lose easily like any other person who exercises and cuts down on food the majority of the time…

It’s bollocks.

I’m going to get my figure back - even if it’s not perfect, I can still be toned, fit and reasonably slender.

The solution?

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 13:58:49 +0000

myfitnesspal.com looks like a good thing to be using - I’ve downloaded the app, and it allows you to add foods, and what exercise you’ve done…

So, it keeps a record for you & shows net calories for the day.

E.g. I’ve set my calories at 1200 (manually), and my activity as lightly active, so when I add additional exercise for the day (a long bike ride), it calculates that i have burned an additional 500 calories, and that my net intake has been 700 calories, and on a different section will show what amount of fats, vitamins, carbs, etc, I have eaten.

It’s pretty good!

However I choose to eat (or not!) having something that I can use to track everything will be very handy!

Photo

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 12:43:56 +0000

Urgh.

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 12:30:04 +0000

Keep looking at the amount I said I’d eat in my last post & keep thinking “it’s too much, it’s too much!”, even tough it’s healthy stuff.

I’ve been feeling really panicky today coz I just can’t seem to get below 210 lbs.

Never used to be fat like this - I used to be slim! I want to be there again.

At my very highest weight, I was 239 lbs, and I so desperately want to lose more & get to 200 lbs, then go lower.

Doc thinks i may have PCOS, so I Went for scans last week & have blood tests this week to see if I have hormonal problems…

Maybe that’ll help me find out why I keep getting stuck at 210 lbs.

That is, if there’s any other reason for me being such a fatty than the fact that I seem to vacuum food down my throat like a fucking black hole :/

Collapsing due to lack of food x Change of Diet

Sun, 26 Feb 2012 21:20:48 +0000

After I came over all funny at work a while back, and collapsed after arriving, I have decided that while I love fasting, I should probably try to stick to something that will let me eat - to prevent me collapsing, and that will give my family less cause to notice me making an effort to lose weight.

Funnily enough, they’re ENCOURAGING me with my diet, lol.

Fasting, on the other hand, would raise eyebrows and results in me being nagged about what is healthy.

I already posted about it before, but I’ll be going back to the following:

Breakfast: Cereal, or Toast, plus Fruit (if available).

Lunch: Lean Protein with A large Salad, Vegetables, or Vegetable soup.

Snack: A piece of fruit and/or some plain yoghurt.

Dinner: Lean Protein with A large Salad, Vegetables, or Vegetable soup.

Evening Snack (if hungry): A piece of fruit.

Sugar is banned, along with pretty much everything that contains it!
The minute amount in things like salad dressing doesn’t bother me, but stuff like honey, cakes, chocolate, sugar in cups of tea is a big NO.

Relatively low calorie-wise, very healthy, and guaranteed to result in weightloss! :)

I’ve been cycling a lot lately, so I’ve already upped my exercise…

New Job & Fasting

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 16:43:42 +0000

I got a new job as a Care Assistant/Social Care Worker - I love the job even though its low paid :)

I’ve managed to start fasting again successfully, and have fasted through my 12 hour night shifts.

I’ll have a little food between 5 pm & 9 pm at night, then fast afterwards for 19 - 20 hours.
Theyre just short ones but theyre effective.

Yaaay! :D I’m doing alright, for now.

I slept all day today until 4 pm, which successfully got around the problem of eating during the day…

Now, I just have to hope that the girl I did a shift with the other night who was practically trying to shove food down my neck isn’t in.

I like her, but really. Shes thin & I’m trying to lose weight….

So her trying to get me to share food with her when id already said “no, go ahead yourself but I’m not hungry”, was just fucking annoying.

She was desperate for me to eat with her so she didn’t feel weird about eating on her own.

Thankfully, I didn’t give in!

*sigh*

Photo

Sat, 28 Jan 2012 18:08:11 +0000

str0ngforlife: love this. so inspirational

Sat, 28 Jan 2012 18:07:09 +0000

str0ngforlife:

love this. so inspirational

Day 2 of the new plan...

Thu, 19 Jan 2012 17:34:27 +0000

Its my second day in, and I’m doing brilliantly. :) no slip ups at all, w00!

My plan:

• No sugar, at all.
• Starchy carbs for breakfast, and as a light snack in the evening IF hungry.
• Lean protein & large plate of salad/veggies for lunch and dinner.
• Mid afternoon - fruit &/yoghurt IF hungry.
• Dairy Is fine (in tea, with cereal, etc.), but can be swapped for Soya/Rice alternatives instead.

I decided to find a way of eating as healthily as possible, so that I make lifestyle changes, and not just do-whatever-to-drop-the-weight diets, which I may not succeed with.

From tomorrow, I think I’ll start keeping tabs on calories too, so that my weightloss is guaranteed.

I was 216lbs yesterday, and I want to lose at least 28 lbs by April 8th 2012.

Photo

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 19:26:11 +0000

smokeporch: Follow this blog, it’s like love at first site!

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 19:25:05 +0000

smokeporch:

Follow this blog, it’s like love at first site!

southsidedave: Bert krak

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 19:23:16 +0000

southsidedave:

Bert krak

Photo

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 19:21:37 +0000